"I deeply admire my son's strength and resilience"
When Jaume's son, Marc, was diagnosed with an eating disorder at the age of fifteen, in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, it was a devastating blow for the entire family. Although there had been signs that something wasn't quite right, this was the beginning of a long, demanding, and transformative process .
Marc, an athlete, studious and perfectionist, began to change without his family being able to interpret the extent of these first symptoms: progressive isolation, compulsive exercise following tutorials on social networks, weight loss, only one meal a day, poor sports performance and a level of self-demand that overwhelmed him.
Although five years have passed, Jaume perfectly remembers a significant event that made them realize the pain Marc carried inside from the death of his sister Jana when he was two and a half years old, a tragedy that had deeply affected him: "At school he wrote a story in which the protagonist, who was him, suffered an accident, went into a coma and was reunited with his sister Jana. That set off alarm bells," he tells us, recalling that episode.
I suspect my daughter or son has an eating disorder, what should I do?
The hardest moment: admission and separation
These initial signs gradually worsened. When they saw that he stopped going to school, that all he wanted was to sleep, that he reacted impulsively and aggressively, and that his physical health was beginning to be at risk, the family understood that they couldn't continue. "He had a monster inside him that was attacking him and that he couldn't fight alone," Jaume explains. That moment was a turning point, a "wake-up call" that pushed them to seek specialized help . Despite their fear and confusion, they understood that their son needed urgent hospitalization.
It was three months of isolation, strict rules, difficult dietary guidelines, and intensive treatment that, although necessary, caused us profound suffering.
Marc's admission to the Child Psychiatric Recovery Unit was a very difficult time for this father. He vividly remembers saying goodbye and going home without him : "We were terrified. We were going home and leaving our son there, not knowing what the next step would be." It was three months of isolation, strict rules, difficult dietary guidelines, and intensive treatment that, while necessary, caused them profound suffering: " We saw our son changed so much , I suppose because of the medication he needed at the time, but we thought we had lost him forever, that he would never be the same person again."
Family unity: the best tool for resilience
Dealing with an eating disorder shook the whole family, and the couple as well. But Jaume is certain that "the emotional work we had done years ago with the devastating loss of our daughter gave us the tools to endure another painful process without breaking down."
When Marc returned home, the fear of relapse was constant . In a household with three teenagers, mealtimes became the center of the day and, in turn, the main battleground. The entire family followed the dietary guidelines and calorie-restricted menus. Jaume acknowledges that " there were tense moments, especially with his mother, but we were always clear that we had to stay united." His siblings were also a key support throughout this time, and family unity became their greatest strength.
My bond with my son has been strengthened. I have great admiration for him, for his spirit of overcoming adversity, his effort, and his courage.
The help of professionals was also essential to sustaining the process. Individual, family, and group therapies were fundamental: “ Sharing with other fathers was very healing. Especially for us men, who often don't know where to place that pain and find it particularly difficult to express and share with others going through the same situation.” For this reason, he encourages other fathers to overcome their fear of opening up and asking for help.
Aware that "mothers usually assume the primary role of caregivers," Jaume tried to break this dynamic so that the burden of the entire process would be shared equally, reorganizing schedules and dedicating all his vacation time to being present for visits, therapies, and travel. There were many hours, many conversations, tense and complicated moments, and new challenges every day… But it has all been worth it, according to this proud father: "We worked very hard. It was tough, but together we made it."
Male anorexia, an invisible disorder
The current relationship: a strengthened bond
Five years have passed, and Marc has found his own path. Drawing and writing have become creative havens that have helped him rebuild his life. Today, he studies design at university and is fully focused on this vocation.
“Going through a process like this makes you value what’s truly important, and therefore you learn to live life to the fullest, appreciating the fact of being alive and healthy,” says Jaume, who also believes his bond with his son has been strengthened . And not only that, but he confesses that he feels great admiration for him: “I’ve learned so much from him: from his spirit of overcoming adversity, his effort, and his courage. In fact, often, when faced with an everyday situation where I don’t know what to do, I think: ‘What would Marc do?’ He’s become a role model for me.”
Jaume Sol shares his experience as the father of a boy who suffered from anorexia nervosa during his adolescence. What signs did he notice when the eating disorder began to appear? How did they address it with their son? What was the recovery process like, and how did it impact the whole family?
This father, proud of how the family unit sustained him and became a fundamental pillar in facing this situation, advises all men going through a similar experience to participate in support groups, express their pain, and be present during their sons' and daughters' recovery. Now, five years after those initial moments of bewilderment, Jaume says he has learned a great deal from his son, who has become a true source of strength for him.
